chatty pills

Years ago I considered, although not too seriously, taking the drug du jour I saw advertised to “cure” social anxiety. I was just curious if I could possibly become one of those chatty types who can’t keep their pie hole shut in a check-out line or sitting next to someone on a plane. I don’t remember what it was called.
But today I saw what might be the result of such a drug. While looking up the address of the DMV for a woman, she proceeded to ask me at least 20 rapid fire questions from where’s the ladies room to where do I get my hair cut. She wrote down the name of my salon, the name of the person who cuts my hair, the names of the two shampoos I use and where to buy them. Okay, I did just get my hair cut, and it did look better than usual, but hardly the cover of Harper’s Bazaar.
Then she asked if there was a park nearby with monkey bars because that’s how she gets her upper body exercise. I have never been asked directions to monkey bars. Is there a Google feature for that? Can I Monkey Quest it for her? This seemed a good time to pawn her off on my co-worker who appeared to know where all the parks are.

I imagine this woman later in the day doing pull-ups next to someone and telling them they should go check out my hair.